Thursday, October 7, 2010 (posting 2)

Happy Thursday to all and I hope to see everyone at Friday’s football game against Carlisle in Carlisle.  The Warriors and Wildcats are both 6-0, so this should be an exciting night of high school football.  Please remind your students of expectations while attending athletic events.  All Students are expected to be seated in the bleachers during the play of the game, act appropriately, not to loiter in open spaces, and cheer loudly for the Warriors. 

We had another great week at Oviatt, did your students tell you about Mr. Martinez's first school tube posting?  Ask them if they haven't.  School tube is a website used to be able to talk with students weekly and they seem to love it.  Mr. Martinez is ready to start handing out his autograph, but no one has asked yet.  HA

The month of October is National Bullying Prevention Month and at Oviatt Mrs. Chittenden and I have created PowerPoints teachers will share with students and then Mrs. Chittenden will follow up during guidance with booster lessons.  We are working hard through PBIS to engrain the appropriate skills for the students to use daily.  

Bullies:  What is Bullying?

Bully. What does the word make you think of? For some people, it's that girl at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it's the biggest guy in the neighborhood who's always trying to beat them up or take their things. Sometimes "bully" means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.

Bullying happens everywhere, whether it's your town or Paris, France. It happens all the time, and it's happened since forever. Because it's so common, many adults think bullying is just a normal part of growing up. You've probably heard parents or teachers say things like: "Don't let it get to you" or "You just have to be tougher."

But why should something that can make a person so miserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it doesn't! Each and every one of us has the right to feel safe in our lives and good about ourselves. So IML put together this guide to give you all the basics of dealing with bullies.
Let's start by looking at the different kinds of bullying:

Physical bullying means:

• Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone...or even just threatening to do it
• Stealing, hiding or ruining someone's things
• Making someone do things he or she don't want to do

Verbal bullying means:

• Name-calling
• Teasing
• Insulting

Relationship bullying means:

• Refusing to talk to someone
• Spreading lies or rumors about someone
• Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do

What do all these things have in common? They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that's bullying.

The reason why one kid would want to bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they're better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.

So why would someone need to hurt someone else in order to feel good about themselves or get attention? That's what we explore in the next blog, Who's A Bully?

Did You Know... The word "bully" used to mean the total opposite of what it means now? Five-hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member, or sweetheart. The root of the word comes from the Dutch boel, meaning lover or brother. Big change!

Bullies:  Who’s A Bully?

Wouldn't it be great to peek inside someone's head, reading his or her thoughts? Let's take a look inside a bully's head. It helps us understand why he or she acts the way she does, and also helps us know how to deal with it.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are bigger or taller than everyone. Some get in trouble a lot. Some are popular kids who seem to "have it all," with lots of friends and good grades. But look inside their heads and you'll find one thing that they all have in common: Something or someone is making them feel insecure, so they're bullying to make themselves feel better.

Remember, though, that everyone is different and lives with different experiences. If we looked even more inside a person's head, we'd probably find some extra reasons why he or she is acting like a bully:

• She's having problems in other parts of her life, like something going on in her family or struggling with school.
• He may not feel like he's getting enough attention from parents or teachers.
• She's watched her parents or older siblings get their way by being angry or pushing other people around.
• He's being bullied himself, maybe by another kid or a brother or sister...or even his own parents.
• Her parents have spoiled her or haven't taught her about not hurting others.
• He's getting exposed to a lot of violence in movies, TV, and video games.

What about the person who's always nice to you when he's alone, but will join in when his friends start teasing you? Well, as you probably know, peer pressure is a powerful thing. People like to do what their friends are doing. They might think they're just having fun and not even realize they're bullying someone.
Some people act like a bully for a year or two, and then grow out of it. It can also go the opposite way: some people are bullied when they're younger, and then once they're a little bigger and more confident, become a bully themselves. Some kids only act like a bully to one person, like they have their own personal punching bag.

Some bullies set out to hurt someone, with the goal of making him or her cry. Others don't even know that their behavior is doing so much damage. In fact, you may be a bully yourself and not know it! We'll talk more about that later.

So, wow. Lots of different types of bullies out there. The good news is that we can deal with all of them in the same way.

Next up: Who's A Target?